For that reason I decided to join in with the Bead Journal Project on Facebook this year(https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/177095035820297/). The project was conceived by Robin Atkins and the idea is to produce 1 piece of bead embroidery each month that expresses how you are feeling or just what's going on in your life at that time.
My January BJP piece is called 'Ssshhhhh - let me think!'.
In November 2013 I experienced one of the top 5 stresses in life - I lost my job. I was made redundant from my job of 10 years. It hurt and I am still recovering both emotionally and psychologically from this life event.
What hurts most however is what I am doing to myself. My inner voice of self-doubt and self-criticism just keeps getting louder and louder. Now she was always there - my little voice - but now she has pom-poms and is doing a constant cheerleader thing through me. She is my constant companion. She invades what little sleep I get. She is relentless.
I don't want to silence her completely, but I need to work towards lowering her volume and 'Ssshhhhh - let me think!' is my first step towards that. I am hopeful that she will let me follow new paths this year, be they beading, career or life choices. I am hopeful that she will let me shine again.
I have also made her heart shaped as a reminder to love myself - something that I am not good at just yet.
Thank you for reading.